Dee’s Maiden ride

Dee’s “I Don’t Know Where I’m Going” Ride: Leading From The Rear

by Dee

This ride report was originally published in the June 2008 issue of the Motorcycle Tourers club magazine, ‘Chain Lube’.


With a clear sky and maps in hand the “I Don’t Know Where I’m Going Ride” started at our South Yarra meeting place. Originally I was going to lead, but being a bit of a “Lara Bingle – Where The Bloody Hell Are We”, Brett and I agreed it would be best for him to lead. Not to mention my fear of gay boys up my arse, therefore I was promoted to the rear rider, which suited my slow riding skills perfectly.

From South Yarra up the “Ground Hog Day” Eastern Freeway (keep reading, it will make sense!) on to the Maroondah Highway to our Lilydale pickup. A total of 22 riders (1 pillion, 4 new faces, 3 scooters, 21 hunky guys and 1 very tall lesbian dwarf). From Lilydale we rode past the Airfield, through Yarra Glen then turned off for a water restriction tutorial at Sugarloaf Reserve. Ok, you guys saw it as ¾ empty, I saw it as ¼ full, I will still wash my bike, I like shiny things, so to compensate I won’t wash myself, nice, there goes my sex life!

Morning tea stop at Watson’s Creek Antiques where our 22 bikes took over the car park, and I think scared a few of the patrons – oh my god, its a biker gang with one chick. Some would view me lucky, others would think I’m a slut! Anyway, lattes accompanied by scones jam and cream were the go, a big hit with bikers worldwide – apparently. Time to bike up and hit the road, outside we all headed, and waited… and waited… Tim & Peter were still inside waiting on their order of bruchetta… next time have a bloody scone!

Finally we headed off through St Andrews / Kinglake passing some men in blue, if only it was a female cop, I would have opened the throttle in hope to be pulled over, charged and handcuffed! Anyway, we were now enjoying, as Brett put it on the pre-ride, the pinnacle of the ride, a winding, twisty “cork screw” road, this time I had no cars behind me (yes we all heard at the briefing that I held up traffic). No whoops, we all survived although Paul had commented later it was a test to ride when nursing a hangover.

A quick re-group and a thumbs up then off to another water catchment for our picnic lunch. “Where are we?” Nigel asked, “a park” was my answer. Picnic rugs were strategically placed, avoiding duck poo, until Gary our poo monitor started a clean up, what a nice boy! Gourmet picnic hampers were devoured and thank you to Jonas for my lunch… I didn’t bring anything, I don’t read emails on the weekends!

And here, at this park, somewhere near Kinglake we all learnt the answers to life; David had had a vision, a message from a higher source which he chose to share with us. One night when he was young, and let’s say ‘medicated’, it came to him, the answer to the meaning of life which he wrote down. Morning dawned and he went into the kitchen, grabbed the piece of paper he had written on the night before… it read “hang out the washing”… very, very deep and profound!!!

Enlightened and fed we left the park and over to Whittlesea for a fuel stop, and down Plenty Road (I think) homeward bound. This is where the “Ground Hog Day” aspect comes into it.

Here I am the committed back rider, following the group; a few riders gave me a wave and turned off. I however (who lives in Boronia) thought I should keep following, you are the back rider after all… on the same freeway we went, me still following, where the bloody hell are we? Eventually I lost all the riders as they had headed in their own directions. I, the dedicated back rider kept going, like a sergeant at war, I was not going to leave my troops, the men’s lives was my responsibility, I took on my role with pride, so still I kept going… as I didn’t see a corner marker. Finally I hit the CBD, hmm, I thought, maybe it’s over, maybe I should head home…

So back on the Eastern Freeway (I have done this before) all the way to Springvale Road and up Maroondah Highway… again. Well at least I got home, a little later then the others, but I got home!

Thanks to all the riders. It was another great ride, a big thanks to Brett for everything and a warm welcome to the new riders and pillion that joined us… Matt, Alex & Paul and my lunch boy Jonas.


Note for next ride:

If you leave your helmet on your exhaust pipe take it off before you start up your bike (for more info contact Tzup (Wuff)

If picnicking in the rain, make sure you are near a catchment to avoid getting wet… for more info contact John H

If riding a BMX you have no brakes. Slide backward off the seat and squeeze your butt cheeks… for more info contact Michael.

Dee.

Ride Photos:

Skills

Posted on

18 May 2008

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